Wednesday, March 23, 2011
Belated birthday gifts
Harrison was so excited to find these new toys to play with courtesy of our dog. I wonder if that was her idea of a birthday present...better late than never I guess
Tuesday, March 15, 2011
Oh Happy Day!!
This was lunch on the big guy's birthday...after we visited the surgeon and he was cleared to eat solid foods again. We also visited our friends in labor and delivery and SICU while we were at the hospital. After he had a nap, the grandparents came over and we celebrated!part 3, OR and beyond
This is the third part in a series of three posts. See the first part here and the second part here
I am incredibly aware of my surroundings at this point. I am looking around in the OR while they put a sort of balloon inside the uterus and blow it up to try to stop the bleeding. Now another doctor has been called in as well, one that I work with all the time. I see my co workers running around. I look at CRNA C and say "please don't let me die", I know I am circling the drain. The attending anesthesiologist appears and starts calling for blood, to send some now and keep sending it. Not only am I O neg blood type, but I also apparently have some strange antibodies and so the blood bank didn't want to release any blood for me. Later I learned anesthesia called blood bank and said, "if you don't send us blood, this patient is going to die on the table". They sent the blood.
At this point my doctor says "I would really like you to see your son grow up so I'm going to have to take your uterus, the bleeding won't stop". I was crying and agreeing. The last thing I remember is C attempting to place an art line and thinking "this is going to hurt" and also her asking "does she have a pulse?!" I thought that was a bit strange as I obviously DID, I was looking right at her and aware (I guess I wasn't as aware as I thought, or at all)...fading out...
I awoke to voices, tube in my throat, unable to talk, not really sure what happened. I was in the ICU and stayed there for 3 days. All in all, I had had 11 units of blood and my blood loss was more than most people have in their bodies t
otal. It is a scary number...so high that when people hear it they don't believe it.
I am a miracle!
Here I am finally getting to hold my son after 2 days. What a crazy, happy feeling.
I am incredibly aware of my surroundings at this point. I am looking around in the OR while they put a sort of balloon inside the uterus and blow it up to try to stop the bleeding. Now another doctor has been called in as well, one that I work with all the time. I see my co workers running around. I look at CRNA C and say "please don't let me die", I know I am circling the drain. The attending anesthesiologist appears and starts calling for blood, to send some now and keep sending it. Not only am I O neg blood type, but I also apparently have some strange antibodies and so the blood bank didn't want to release any blood for me. Later I learned anesthesia called blood bank and said, "if you don't send us blood, this patient is going to die on the table". They sent the blood.
At this point my doctor says "I would really like you to see your son grow up so I'm going to have to take your uterus, the bleeding won't stop". I was crying and agreeing. The last thing I remember is C attempting to place an art line and thinking "this is going to hurt" and also her asking "does she have a pulse?!" I thought that was a bit strange as I obviously DID, I was looking right at her and aware (I guess I wasn't as aware as I thought, or at all)...fading out...
I awoke to voices, tube in my throat, unable to talk, not really sure what happened. I was in the ICU and stayed there for 3 days. All in all, I had had 11 units of blood and my blood loss was more than most people have in their bodies t
otal. It is a scary number...so high that when people hear it they don't believe it.I am a miracle!
Here I am finally getting to hold my son after 2 days. What a crazy, happy feeling.
part 2, the birth
This is the second of a three parter... see the first part here
When we got to labor and delivery, I started crying. I had made it at least this far but I wanted to be sure my baby was ok. It was a tense moment when they put the fetal monitor on. Everything seemed ok.....huge relief. My doctor had left St Lukes and made it to Toledo Hospital before the ambulance. I guess he was kind of worried too. He broke my water immediately and put internal monitors in. "Geez, his hands are huge" I remember thinking. I was already 4 cm. It seemed as though the bleeding slowed. I started to relax a little though I was still having periods of feeling yucky. I kept saying "I'm not doing so good. The doctor encouraged me to get an epidural soon since bleeding makes the uterus contract a lot more. Of course, being my stubborn self, I said I didn't need one now, I was doing just fine. Well, it was more like my nurse, S called out to have anesthesia paged and I said "no, don't do that, I'm not ready". A few minutes later when the contractions started in earnest, I remembered the pain and coupled with the fact that I was already feeling pretty lousy, I called out for the epidural.
While we were waiting, my mom showed up (she has not seen any of her 7 other grandchildren born) and I convinced S to take off the crappy polish job I had on my toes. Obviously I was feeling a little better.
Since I was working earlier that day, when they called for the epidural the nurse told him "it's Margery" to which he replied "well, have her sit the patient up" to which S replied "she IS the patient". He came in and placed the epidural and all was well for about 10 minutes (it could have been longer or shorter, who the hell knows at that point). Knowledge was not my friend that night. Unfortunately, as an L&D nurse, I knew the consequences of everything that was happening. At this point, all the medical staff had left my room and it was relatively quiet. I could hear the fetal monitor and then I heard the heart rate in the 50s (it may have been lower or higher, again, I just know it was bad) for a couple minutes and no one was coming in so I used the call light "I need someone to come in here" and here is where everything went south (more south than it already was). Epidural + large blood loss= crappy blood pressure = baby heart rate in the toilet. The heart rate had been down for about 10 minutes which in labor and delivery land means you need to go change your pants now.
A LOT of people started coming in the room. The doctor came in and told me to push and eventually pulled the baby out with a vacuum. He was born at 0255 on March 15th. The NICU team was there and unbeknownst to me, the crash cart (for me) was outside the door. I kept bleeding. My mom describes it as "like a faucet", Eric said he wasn't looking down there and he couldn't see the blood but that he could hear it. Anesthesia came into the room and another CRNA C started shouting orders. I kept saying "I'm not doing very well". I just kept thinking, let's get this placenta out and get things stablized here. And then I hear "that's a nice shiny uterus" and I said "is my uterus OUTSIDE my body right now?!" and not one of my co workers answered me. I looked around and they all had a deer-in-the-headlights look. This is another time I said "oh, shit". I remember a lot of shouting orders and movement and I'm crying and bleeding. This is not looking good for me. I'm going to be one of those people that die in childbirth. Finally we head for the OR to try some other things.
As they roll me out of the room I look at Eric and say "please take care of my babies", I knew there was a strong possibility that I may not come back.
to be continued...
When we got to labor and delivery, I started crying. I had made it at least this far but I wanted to be sure my baby was ok. It was a tense moment when they put the fetal monitor on. Everything seemed ok.....huge relief. My doctor had left St Lukes and made it to Toledo Hospital before the ambulance. I guess he was kind of worried too. He broke my water immediately and put internal monitors in. "Geez, his hands are huge" I remember thinking. I was already 4 cm. It seemed as though the bleeding slowed. I started to relax a little though I was still having periods of feeling yucky. I kept saying "I'm not doing so good. The doctor encouraged me to get an epidural soon since bleeding makes the uterus contract a lot more. Of course, being my stubborn self, I said I didn't need one now, I was doing just fine. Well, it was more like my nurse, S called out to have anesthesia paged and I said "no, don't do that, I'm not ready". A few minutes later when the contractions started in earnest, I remembered the pain and coupled with the fact that I was already feeling pretty lousy, I called out for the epidural.
While we were waiting, my mom showed up (she has not seen any of her 7 other grandchildren born) and I convinced S to take off the crappy polish job I had on my toes. Obviously I was feeling a little better.
Since I was working earlier that day, when they called for the epidural the nurse told him "it's Margery" to which he replied "well, have her sit the patient up" to which S replied "she IS the patient". He came in and placed the epidural and all was well for about 10 minutes (it could have been longer or shorter, who the hell knows at that point). Knowledge was not my friend that night. Unfortunately, as an L&D nurse, I knew the consequences of everything that was happening. At this point, all the medical staff had left my room and it was relatively quiet. I could hear the fetal monitor and then I heard the heart rate in the 50s (it may have been lower or higher, again, I just know it was bad) for a couple minutes and no one was coming in so I used the call light "I need someone to come in here" and here is where everything went south (more south than it already was). Epidural + large blood loss= crappy blood pressure = baby heart rate in the toilet. The heart rate had been down for about 10 minutes which in labor and delivery land means you need to go change your pants now.
A LOT of people started coming in the room. The doctor came in and told me to push and eventually pulled the baby out with a vacuum. He was born at 0255 on March 15th. The NICU team was there and unbeknownst to me, the crash cart (for me) was outside the door. I kept bleeding. My mom describes it as "like a faucet", Eric said he wasn't looking down there and he couldn't see the blood but that he could hear it. Anesthesia came into the room and another CRNA C started shouting orders. I kept saying "I'm not doing very well". I just kept thinking, let's get this placenta out and get things stablized here. And then I hear "that's a nice shiny uterus" and I said "is my uterus OUTSIDE my body right now?!" and not one of my co workers answered me. I looked around and they all had a deer-in-the-headlights look. This is another time I said "oh, shit". I remember a lot of shouting orders and movement and I'm crying and bleeding. This is not looking good for me. I'm going to be one of those people that die in childbirth. Finally we head for the OR to try some other things.
As they roll me out of the room I look at Eric and say "please take care of my babies", I knew there was a strong possibility that I may not come back.
to be continued...
Happy Birthday Harrison! part 1
Can you even believe it?! I am so grateful for this year. It has been a crazy year.
I am finally ready to talk about the birth. You will find interesting coincidences throughout the story, without which I would not be here.
Just some background, Cooper was a c sections after I pushed for over 3 hours. Sydney was a VBAC and was 1.5 lbs bigger than Coop. The plan for this, my third, pregnancy was that I would have a successful VBAC just like with Sydney. We had moved back to Toledo since Syd was born so I picked a practice that had midwives that I liked. I wasn't in love with the doctor in the practice but that was not a big deal to me since I was pretty sure I wouldn't be needing him.
I found out at my first ultrasound that this baby had cleft lip and palate. I also found out I was already 26 weeks, 4 more weeks than my dates. The MFM doc suggested we have chromosomal studies done and that I should deliver at Toledo not Flower. (coincidence #1) It was a lot to take in. I decided it was a good idea to go to Toledo and I was happy since I worked there anyway.
March 14, 2010 I worked labor and delivery from 11a-7p. I was 36 weeks pregnant and just starting to get a little nervous for labor that I hoped would come in another 3 weeks. The baby's room was not ready and my mind set wasn't either.
In bed that night Eric and I were considering doing some "boom chicka bow wow" when I started bleeding, significant bleeding, enough to make me really scared bleeding, and I don't freak out about ANYTHING. I sat on the toilet and called the midwife, my mom, my neighbor, and the hospital. Eric wanted to call 911 right away but I wouldn't let him. The midwife told me to go to St Lukes where their back up doctor was doing 24 hr call. I said no (good decision/coincidence #2). I told them I was going to Toledo Hospital. When I talked to the charge nurse, M, she told me to call 911. I said no. ((see, in labor and delivery we usually make fun of people who take the squad in since it is usually because a. they have no transportation (even though all their friends and family show up about 5 minutes later) b. 99.9% of the time it is not something that warrants an ambulance ride (such as a cold, vaginal discharge or contractions every 20 minutes since an hour ago) c. they're stupid)) I didn't fit into any of those categories but more to the point, I just wanted Eric to put me in the car and take me. I was assuming that would be faster. I said "let's go now".
I stood up to walk and immediately felt woozy. That is how much blood I had already lost. I am not exaggerating when I say, it was pouring out of me and it hadn't stopped, huge clots, scary stuff. Eric was beside himself. I laid down on the floor and told Eric to get me some towels and a shirt (I was naked), oh and go ahead and call 911. He said "I already did", smart man. He brought me the bathroom towels (white, of course) and my t-shirt that says "knitting is knotty". Thanks, hon.
My neighbor, an ICU nurse came over. She later told me she was pretty scared that I was not going to make it. By this time I was feeling really bad and starting throwing up from being so lightheaded and I was still bleeding. I started to get really concerned. I had no idea how the baby was and I knew I was in trouble and I wasn't even at the hospital yet. There was nothing to be done until I got there so at this point I just wanted to GO NOW. Luckily the paramedics showed up about then.
They started 2 IVs and I begged them to take me to Toledo Hospital since I knew Flower was probably closer. By the time they were taking me down the stairs, my mom was there and lots of neighbors were hanging around. The kids never woke up which was a total blessing, Coop probably would have needed therapy for life. They loaded me up and we were off. I had periods of feeling ok and then I would be nauseas and lightheaded again. I asked if I was still bleeding and they said yes. I was very scared about the baby and when I asked if they had a Doppler to listen to the heartbeat, they said no. I hadn't felt any movement since this all started and I was terrified something awful was happening to the kiddo as well as me.
Long ambulance ride to the hospital...
to be continued...
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