Happy Birthday Harrison! part 1

Can you even believe it?! I am so grateful for this year. It has been a crazy year.

I am finally ready to talk about the birth. You will find interesting coincidences throughout the story, without which I would not be here.

Just some background, Cooper was a c sections after I pushed for over 3 hours. Sydney was a VBAC and was 1.5 lbs bigger than Coop. The plan for this, my third, pregnancy was that I would have a successful VBAC just like with Sydney. We had moved back to Toledo since Syd was born so I picked a practice that had midwives that I liked. I wasn't in love with the doctor in the practice but that was not a big deal to me since I was pretty sure I wouldn't be needing him.

I found out at my first ultrasound that this baby had cleft lip and palate. I also found out I was already 26 weeks, 4 more weeks than my dates. The MFM doc suggested we have chromosomal studies done and that I should deliver at Toledo not Flower. (coincidence #1) It was a lot to take in. I decided it was a good idea to go to Toledo and I was happy since I worked there anyway.

March 14, 2010 I worked labor and delivery from 11a-7p. I was 36 weeks pregnant and just starting to get a little nervous for labor that I hoped would come in another 3 weeks. The baby's room was not ready and my mind set wasn't either.

In bed that night Eric and I were considering doing some "boom chicka bow wow" when I started bleeding, significant bleeding, enough to make me really scared bleeding, and I don't freak out about ANYTHING. I sat on the toilet and called the midwife, my mom, my neighbor, and the hospital. Eric wanted to call 911 right away but I wouldn't let him. The midwife told me to go to St Lukes where their back up doctor was doing 24 hr call. I said no (good decision/coincidence #2). I told them I was going to Toledo Hospital. When I talked to the charge nurse, M, she told me to call 911. I said no. ((see, in labor and delivery we usually make fun of people who take the squad in since it is usually because a. they have no transportation (even though all their friends and family show up about 5 minutes later) b. 99.9% of the time it is not something that warrants an ambulance ride (such as a cold, vaginal discharge or contractions every 20 minutes since an hour ago) c. they're stupid)) I didn't fit into any of those categories but more to the point, I just wanted Eric to put me in the car and take me. I was assuming that would be faster. I said "let's go now".

I stood up to walk and immediately felt woozy. That is how much blood I had already lost. I am not exaggerating when I say, it was pouring out of me and it hadn't stopped, huge clots, scary stuff. Eric was beside himself. I laid down on the floor and told Eric to get me some towels and a shirt (I was naked), oh and go ahead and call 911. He said "I already did", smart man. He brought me the bathroom towels (white, of course) and my t-shirt that says "knitting is knotty". Thanks, hon.

My neighbor, an ICU nurse came over. She later told me she was pretty scared that I was not going to make it. By this time I was feeling really bad and starting throwing up from being so lightheaded and I was still bleeding. I started to get really concerned. I had no idea how the baby was and I knew I was in trouble and I wasn't even at the hospital yet. There was nothing to be done until I got there so at this point I just wanted to GO NOW. Luckily the paramedics showed up about then.

They started 2 IVs and I begged them to take me to Toledo Hospital since I knew Flower was probably closer. By the time they were taking me down the stairs, my mom was there and lots of neighbors were hanging around. The kids never woke up which was a total blessing, Coop probably would have needed therapy for life. They loaded me up and we were off. I had periods of feeling ok and then I would be nauseas and lightheaded again. I asked if I was still bleeding and they said yes. I was very scared about the baby and when I asked if they had a Doppler to listen to the heartbeat, they said no. I hadn't felt any movement since this all started and I was terrified something awful was happening to the kiddo as well as me.

Long ambulance ride to the hospital...

to be continued...

11 months ago

My baby boy turned 11 months and I just can't get over how quickly it all went. I know, I know, everyone says that but I distinctly remember with Coop as an infant thinking "he's only 4 weeks old" and not being able to wait until he was old enough to smile, play, not poop in his pants, go to fun mommy and me classes, etc. Now, he's 7 and talking back like it's his job.

Harrison really is just delightful, that is the best way to describe it.

Because I'm ready to go through everything that happened that fateful night, I am going to tell his birth story in several parts and hopefully get it done before his birthday next month.

Life is so short and so precious, I really am trying to be "present" as much as possible.

This week has been so hard. The neighbor that I blogged about 2 years ago saying "I'm so scared" when she found out she had cancer, died on Friday morning. She was 40 and left behind a 3 and 6 year old. I really feel honored to know her and have her in my life. She was a remarkable person. Rest in Peace Becky

its been awhile

OK, I realized I've been a little busy. Since the last time I blogged I almost died giving birth, had a baby BOY with a cleft lip and palate and he had his surgery this week to repair the lip and nose. I've been a little busy to say the least. Hoping to get back to this since having three kids is a lot busier than I thought, especially when one of them doesn't sleep through the night or still have his own room at 5 months of age.

Whoa, I know you're saying, back up...I will start from the beginning, but not tonight. I'm tired and the bean is sleeping beside me.

telling the kids

Forgot to write that I told the kids about the baby 2 weeks ago. It was all very humerous! LOTS of questions from Coop including, "how did the doctor know it was in there?", "how did YOU know it was in there?" and most importantly "does daddy know?"
Sydney seems more intent in what we should name it...Pumpkin for a girl and Bowser for a boy (thanks to Mariocart for that one). Coop asked me yesterday if it was a boy if we could name it Jesus...strange since we hardly ever go to church, it must be the season. He also likes to pat my tummy and say in this high-pitched voice "hi baby, I'm your big brother". It's cute but I'm sure the kid is thinking "that doesn't really sound like a boy". Sydney likes to lift my shirt in places that that is not appropriate, mainly the middle of Target and at preschool drop-off. She also likes to give my tummy raspberries. I have no idea what the kid thinks of that!

Cooper is very concerned that we need to hurry up and buy diapers. I'm in no hurry at all to go down that road again.

the little things

I am feeling lots of kicking and movement and it makes me sad that this will be my last baby. Don't get me wrong, I know I'm done and more to the point, Eric will divorce me if there is another, but at the same time I find myself thinking "this is the last time I'll be 19 weeks pregnant..."etc. Of course when I was saying "this is the last time I"ll be 10 weeks pregnant and puking and feeling like shit" I was much more relieved.

Personally I think I'm further along than I really am and I have 3 valid reasons for thinking it; a. pregnancy test positive before even missing a period, b. feeling movment waaay too early, like 13-14 weeks and c. measuring about 4 weeks ahead. My midwife agrees. So until I get an ultrasound in January, I won't know for sure if I'm 20 weeks today or 24, like I think I am. All of this is to say, it doesn't really matter but I'll be done sooner and able to meet this little one. My new nephew is making me so excited. Everytime I look at his pictures, I feel as if I could lactate.

land of the living

Well, I'm back and finally feeling like bloggging again. This past month, oh who am I kidding, 2 months have been pretty stressful. #3 baby is on its way. I thought it was a great idea until I actually took the pee on the stick test...then I wasn't so sure. You'd think I would be, the amount of back and forth I went through, but once that nausea hit, I was backpedaling.

The first month, as per my usual, found me never far away from a bathroom or plastic bag or a bed. My poor kids watched waaaaay too much TV, well, more than usual. That is the hardest part of it all, having to take care of the kids. The second month was more of a psychological battle. Depression hit really hard and I was in bed all. the. time. Even a shower seemed like too much work. I really started to feel sorry for my husband as well as my kids.

Finally I am feeling better in every way. I still have hard days but for the most part, things are looking up. Now I have to move on to figuring out where this little one will sleep, and start the Christmas shopping. Add to the fact that my husband is gone all this week, hopefully we will all survive. I'll let you know.

Too bad the first day is followed by all the rest

My firstborn started kindergarten last week. He was ready, I was ready. I had talked about it so much I think he was sick of me "yes, mom, I'm excited to ride the bus, yes, I'm happy that I'm finally going to regular school, now please stop TALKING ABOUT IT".
I wasn't one of "those" moms, I didn't follow the bus to school to take pictures of him getting off it. The teacher said the parent's wouldn't be able to come into the classroom so what was the point. Someone suggested that I would want those pictures of him getting off the bus at school for my scrapbook....HAHAHAHAHA. How 'bout I work on his baby book! I've heard of these scrapbook things, they sound kind of scary and way too much work...I'd rather take a nap.

Anyhoo, first day went off without a hitch. He was up WAY before he needed to be, dressed, fed, etc and wanting to go wait for the bus about 20 minutes before it was scheduled to show. Keep in mind that our driveway is all of 20 feet long, not a long hike to the bus stop, not like when I was growing up and we often had to run down the 1/4 mile driveway while the bus driver patiently waited (thanks George), unless you were my older sister and much too cool to RUN like a maniac for the bus that was in no danger of leaving before it picked us up. I digress, but the memories are good. Remind me to tell you our complex system for determining who boarded the bus first.

2nd day...lots of screaming, crying and backtalk. I am proud to say that I pulled a dad when I said "you get dressed or I'll HELP you get dressed and I guarantee you won't like that". He chose (loosely) help and I thought that would be the end of it. Nope, he don't learn too good!

3rd through 5th days were fair but today was plain awful again.
I think we'll try a reward system but this whole thing is ridiculous. He is acting like such an asshole...and believe me, that is the correct word. He must do 3 things when he gets up: get dressed, eat breakfast and brush his teeth. Most kids who aren't assholes could do those all in 15 minutes TOPS, but for some reason mine cannot. Apparently he thinks there are additional tasks assigned to him, such as rolling around his bedroom floor naked wailing "I don't want to get dressed, I'm tired", and playing with the cat, and stomping downstairs screaming "I don't love you". However, these tasks are not expected of him so he is really making things worse for himself. It is entertaining for the others in the household but annoying!
I'll keep you updated on how the next week goes.