Last day of school

So sad for the last day of school.
More because they will be out of school for 3 months and need to be entertained than being sad that they are a year older but such is life.
Field day, fun times.  oh, except for the pouring down rain.  I got there for lunch and to watch the festivities from there.  The rain had cleared, my kids both ate together in syd's classroom.

then Syd did the basketball shoot...granny shot style

She's so cute!

Then it stopped raining so they went back outside.  Coop participated in the 1/4 mile run

Sydney in the egg race:



After the rewards ceremony, I took them to Crappleby's for sundaes where Syd proceded to tell the hostess "my mom doesn't like to eat here".

vaca pictures

After the hospital epidsode, we had a good time and actually saw sea tutles while snorkeling.  Harrison loved the water...

One night the boys wore their matching cigar shirts...how cute are they?!

Syd turned 6 while we were there and got to pick out a fancy cake...

And then my baby started walking!

Did you hear about our vacation?

I'm going to try to be better at the updating thing. 
Ahhhh, vacation.  Love those words.  This year we went with the entire family to St Kitts.  Never been there before so it was a new adventure and this was the first time Harry flew.  It was a nice time until Harrison started wheezing and coughing like crazy one night.  I was worried so we called the doctor on call for the hotel and he came and looked and listened to him and said that we should go to the hospital for a breathing treatment or two, he would call ahead to let them know we were coming. 
The cab driver told us that the hospital had been "recently renovated" so I wasn't thinking it would be as bad as I thought...well, it was worse.   We went to the ER and sat in beach chairs in the "asthma center" to get his treatments.  It was hot and horrible and he cried the entire time.  Eric asked if we could get something for him to drink and they said "you have to provide it yourself" so Eric went in search of something that would rehydrate him.  After sitting in the ER for 5 hours and receiving 3 breathing treatments, they determined that we should stay the night and he needed more throughout the night.  They led us to the children's ward...

rows of beds and cribs lined up with a folding chair next to each one (for the parent) and NO AIR CONDITIONING.  I thought I would cry.

Immediately nurse Ratchett came up and made us sign something saying that we agreed with the rules of the ward which included only one parent could stay and a bunch of other ridiculousness.  Not only did he get breathing treatments every 3 hours, we were also supposed to keep the oxygen on him by nasal cannula...uh, yeah, right!  He was a sweaty mess within 5 minutes and so were we.  It was grody to the max!  We gave him bottle and continued to try to get fluids in him.  Nurse bitchy bitch told us "you can't use that bottle, you can only use hospital-issued bottles" because ""we can't be totally sure how you cleaned yours".  Are You Shitting Me?!!  We are sweat buckets and brought out own beverages and you're concerned about our bottle?!  Eric lost it and finally BB said "you can take this up with the charge nurse in the morning" (this was around 1:30 in the morning.  To which I said "bring it!"

The next 8 hours were hell.  Breathing treaments, sweat, and a fan from the 50s that wasn't helpful.  One of the worst nights of my life.  Around 8 a.m. Harrison looked much better and the doctor came around and we indicated that we would like to go home.  She walked away and about 5 minutes later a phlebotomist came to draw H's blood.  Eric lost it again and demanded to talk to the doctor.  She finally came back and said "well we should get some bloodwork and maybe a chest xray to see if there is anything else going on".  I said "if you were worried, it should have been done last night in the ER, we want to go home." 
We signed out AMA, but not before they asked if we would like to give H a bath. 

They led us to a small room and pointed us to a baby bathtub..."oh, wait, we need to clean it out".  I watched them clean it out and then they gave us The bar of soap...the one used by everyone else before us.  We didn't care, we were wondering if we would fit into the tub.  Oh, and then, "would he like breakfast?"...oh, NOW you provide food...

WTF?!

Toast, ham?, a few scraps of lettuce, a tomato and tea.  For breakfast.  No thanks.

Finally we left, and went to pay our bill..., I thought they should be paying US but we finally paid the entire bill...wait for it..

....$265.  

Soccer Syd

OK, here is the deal with soccer.  I hate it.  It's boring and boring and did I mention, boring?!  Anyhoo, I have never encouraged soccer in our house.  Luckily, my hubby feels the same way.  Coop did it one time and cried almost every game and his team only scored 1 goal the ENTIRE SEASON.  I don't think I would want to do it again either.  So when Syd said she wanted to do it, I smiled and said ok.

I was working during the first practice last week.  Apparently it was cold and rainy but Syd loved every minute of it.  The next day was her first game...10:00 Saturday morning.  Again, it was cold and rainy and windy.  I thought it was horrible!  Guess what, Syd loved every minute of it, even if she was freezing.  Here she is in the goalie shirt/dress.  She even scored a goal...now what am I going to do?!!  Guess I'll get my knitting and reading done.

the boys in the bath

I love that my kids want to get in the bath with Harrison.  They fight over it.  I think they secretly love to play with his bath toys but I don't care.  We currently just put him directly in the tub with a little water, although he still likes to be in his own tub and the seat.   Here is Coop showing Harry how his new tub toy works. 

I LOVE little butts!

Belated birthday gifts

Harrison was so excited to find these new toys to play with courtesy of our dog. I wonder if that was her idea of a birthday present...better late than never I guess

Oh Happy Day!!

This was lunch on the big guy's birthday...after we visited the surgeon and he was cleared to eat solid foods again.  We also visited our friends in labor and delivery and SICU while we were at the hospital.  After he had a nap, the grandparents came over and we celebrated!

part 3, OR and beyond

This is the third part in a series of three posts.  See the first part here and the second part here

I am incredibly aware of my surroundings at this point. I am looking around in the OR while they put a sort of balloon inside the uterus and blow it up to try to stop the bleeding. Now another doctor has been called in as well, one that I work with all the time. I see my co workers running around. I look at CRNA C and say "please don't let me die", I know I am circling the drain. The attending anesthesiologist appears and starts calling for blood, to send some now and keep sending it. Not only am I O neg blood type, but I also apparently have some strange antibodies and so the blood bank didn't want to release any blood for me. Later I learned anesthesia called blood bank and said, "if you don't send us blood, this patient is going to die on the table". They sent the blood.



At this point my doctor says "I would really like you to see your son grow up so I'm going to have to take your uterus, the bleeding won't stop". I was crying and agreeing. The last thing I remember is C attempting to place an art line and thinking "this is going to hurt" and also her asking "does she have a pulse?!" I thought that was a bit strange as I obviously DID, I was looking right at her and aware (I guess I wasn't as aware as I thought, or at all)...fading out...



I awoke to voices, tube in my throat, unable to talk, not really sure what happened. I was in the ICU and stayed there for 3 days. All in all, I had had 11 units of blood and my blood loss was more than most people have in their bodies total. It is a scary number...so high that when people hear it they don't believe it.

I am a miracle!

Here I am finally getting to hold my son after 2 days. What a crazy, happy feeling.

part 2, the birth

This is the second of a three parter... see the first part here

When we got to labor and delivery, I started crying. I had made it at least this far but I wanted to be sure my baby was ok. It was a tense moment when they put the fetal monitor on. Everything seemed ok.....huge relief. My doctor had left St Lukes and made it to Toledo Hospital before the ambulance. I guess he was kind of worried too. He broke my water immediately and put internal monitors in. "Geez, his hands are huge" I remember thinking. I was already 4 cm. It seemed as though the bleeding slowed. I started to relax a little though I was still having periods of feeling yucky. I kept saying "I'm not doing so good. The doctor encouraged me to get an epidural soon since bleeding makes the uterus contract a lot more. Of course, being my stubborn self, I said I didn't need one now, I was doing just fine. Well, it was more like my nurse, S called out to have anesthesia paged and I said "no, don't do that, I'm not ready". A few minutes later when the contractions started in earnest, I remembered the pain and coupled with the fact that I was already feeling pretty lousy, I called out for the epidural.

While we were waiting, my mom showed up (she has not seen any of her 7 other grandchildren born) and I convinced S to take off the crappy polish job I had on my toes. Obviously I was feeling a little better.

Since I was working earlier that day, when they called for the epidural the nurse told him "it's Margery" to which he replied "well, have her sit the patient up" to which S replied "she IS the patient". He came in and placed the epidural and all was well for about 10 minutes (it could have been longer or shorter, who the hell knows at that point). Knowledge was not my friend that night. Unfortunately, as an L&D nurse, I knew the consequences of everything that was happening. At this point, all the medical staff had left my room and it was relatively quiet. I could hear the fetal monitor and then I heard the heart rate in the 50s (it may have been lower or higher, again, I just know it was bad) for a couple minutes and no one was coming in so I used the call light "I need someone to come in here" and here is where everything went south (more south than it already was). Epidural + large blood loss= crappy blood pressure = baby heart rate in the toilet. The heart rate had been down for about 10 minutes which in labor and delivery land means you need to go change your pants now.

A LOT of people started coming in the room. The doctor came in and told me to push and eventually pulled the baby out with a vacuum. He was born at 0255 on March 15th. The NICU team was there and unbeknownst to me, the crash cart (for me) was outside the door. I kept bleeding. My mom describes it as "like a faucet", Eric said he wasn't looking down there and he couldn't see the blood but that he could hear it. Anesthesia came into the room and another CRNA C started shouting orders. I kept saying "I'm not doing very well". I just kept thinking, let's get this placenta out and get things stablized here. And then I hear "that's a nice shiny uterus" and I said "is my uterus OUTSIDE my body right now?!" and not one of my co workers answered me. I looked around and they all had a deer-in-the-headlights look. This is another time I said "oh, shit". I remember a lot of shouting orders and movement and I'm crying and bleeding. This is not looking good for me. I'm going to be one of those people that die in childbirth. Finally we head for the OR to try some other things.

As they roll me out of the room I look at Eric and say "please take care of my babies", I knew there was a strong possibility that I may not come back.

to be continued...

Happy Birthday Harrison! part 1

Can you even believe it?! I am so grateful for this year. It has been a crazy year.

I am finally ready to talk about the birth. You will find interesting coincidences throughout the story, without which I would not be here.

Just some background, Cooper was a c sections after I pushed for over 3 hours. Sydney was a VBAC and was 1.5 lbs bigger than Coop. The plan for this, my third, pregnancy was that I would have a successful VBAC just like with Sydney. We had moved back to Toledo since Syd was born so I picked a practice that had midwives that I liked. I wasn't in love with the doctor in the practice but that was not a big deal to me since I was pretty sure I wouldn't be needing him.

I found out at my first ultrasound that this baby had cleft lip and palate. I also found out I was already 26 weeks, 4 more weeks than my dates. The MFM doc suggested we have chromosomal studies done and that I should deliver at Toledo not Flower. (coincidence #1) It was a lot to take in. I decided it was a good idea to go to Toledo and I was happy since I worked there anyway.

March 14, 2010 I worked labor and delivery from 11a-7p. I was 36 weeks pregnant and just starting to get a little nervous for labor that I hoped would come in another 3 weeks. The baby's room was not ready and my mind set wasn't either.

In bed that night Eric and I were considering doing some "boom chicka bow wow" when I started bleeding, significant bleeding, enough to make me really scared bleeding, and I don't freak out about ANYTHING. I sat on the toilet and called the midwife, my mom, my neighbor, and the hospital. Eric wanted to call 911 right away but I wouldn't let him. The midwife told me to go to St Lukes where their back up doctor was doing 24 hr call. I said no (good decision/coincidence #2). I told them I was going to Toledo Hospital. When I talked to the charge nurse, M, she told me to call 911. I said no. ((see, in labor and delivery we usually make fun of people who take the squad in since it is usually because a. they have no transportation (even though all their friends and family show up about 5 minutes later) b. 99.9% of the time it is not something that warrants an ambulance ride (such as a cold, vaginal discharge or contractions every 20 minutes since an hour ago) c. they're stupid)) I didn't fit into any of those categories but more to the point, I just wanted Eric to put me in the car and take me. I was assuming that would be faster. I said "let's go now".

I stood up to walk and immediately felt woozy. That is how much blood I had already lost. I am not exaggerating when I say, it was pouring out of me and it hadn't stopped, huge clots, scary stuff. Eric was beside himself. I laid down on the floor and told Eric to get me some towels and a shirt (I was naked), oh and go ahead and call 911. He said "I already did", smart man. He brought me the bathroom towels (white, of course) and my t-shirt that says "knitting is knotty". Thanks, hon.

My neighbor, an ICU nurse came over. She later told me she was pretty scared that I was not going to make it. By this time I was feeling really bad and starting throwing up from being so lightheaded and I was still bleeding. I started to get really concerned. I had no idea how the baby was and I knew I was in trouble and I wasn't even at the hospital yet. There was nothing to be done until I got there so at this point I just wanted to GO NOW. Luckily the paramedics showed up about then.

They started 2 IVs and I begged them to take me to Toledo Hospital since I knew Flower was probably closer. By the time they were taking me down the stairs, my mom was there and lots of neighbors were hanging around. The kids never woke up which was a total blessing, Coop probably would have needed therapy for life. They loaded me up and we were off. I had periods of feeling ok and then I would be nauseas and lightheaded again. I asked if I was still bleeding and they said yes. I was very scared about the baby and when I asked if they had a Doppler to listen to the heartbeat, they said no. I hadn't felt any movement since this all started and I was terrified something awful was happening to the kiddo as well as me.

Long ambulance ride to the hospital...

to be continued...

11 months ago

My baby boy turned 11 months and I just can't get over how quickly it all went. I know, I know, everyone says that but I distinctly remember with Coop as an infant thinking "he's only 4 weeks old" and not being able to wait until he was old enough to smile, play, not poop in his pants, go to fun mommy and me classes, etc. Now, he's 7 and talking back like it's his job.

Harrison really is just delightful, that is the best way to describe it.

Because I'm ready to go through everything that happened that fateful night, I am going to tell his birth story in several parts and hopefully get it done before his birthday next month.

Life is so short and so precious, I really am trying to be "present" as much as possible.

This week has been so hard. The neighbor that I blogged about 2 years ago saying "I'm so scared" when she found out she had cancer, died on Friday morning. She was 40 and left behind a 3 and 6 year old. I really feel honored to know her and have her in my life. She was a remarkable person. Rest in Peace Becky