part 3, OR and beyond

This is the third part in a series of three posts.  See the first part here and the second part here

I am incredibly aware of my surroundings at this point. I am looking around in the OR while they put a sort of balloon inside the uterus and blow it up to try to stop the bleeding. Now another doctor has been called in as well, one that I work with all the time. I see my co workers running around. I look at CRNA C and say "please don't let me die", I know I am circling the drain. The attending anesthesiologist appears and starts calling for blood, to send some now and keep sending it. Not only am I O neg blood type, but I also apparently have some strange antibodies and so the blood bank didn't want to release any blood for me. Later I learned anesthesia called blood bank and said, "if you don't send us blood, this patient is going to die on the table". They sent the blood.



At this point my doctor says "I would really like you to see your son grow up so I'm going to have to take your uterus, the bleeding won't stop". I was crying and agreeing. The last thing I remember is C attempting to place an art line and thinking "this is going to hurt" and also her asking "does she have a pulse?!" I thought that was a bit strange as I obviously DID, I was looking right at her and aware (I guess I wasn't as aware as I thought, or at all)...fading out...



I awoke to voices, tube in my throat, unable to talk, not really sure what happened. I was in the ICU and stayed there for 3 days. All in all, I had had 11 units of blood and my blood loss was more than most people have in their bodies total. It is a scary number...so high that when people hear it they don't believe it.

I am a miracle!

Here I am finally getting to hold my son after 2 days. What a crazy, happy feeling.